Return To Innocence

I have been hurt so much in the past that I realise that I spent a lot of time building a vast labyrinth around my heart. It was full of dead ends and broken dreams, abandoned hopes and trampled beliefs. It was built upon spiteful words and painful memories. Every time someone dropped my heart, I shed a skin, built a new me and buried the past within the walls of my maze. It was designed to keep others out and to keep me safe.

And then I let him in.

Like Daedalus, he solves the puzzles within me. It is as though he can read me like a book. I felt the fear at his approach but his soul reached out for mine and I sense the touch of destiny. Now he has built me wings and together we fly free through limitless skies. We both know the pain of being a pawn in another’s game, we both know how burnt you get chasing the wrong highs. We see each other’s scars and they guide us to a better, more pure place. It is a universe created of love and devotion. We hold the key and within there are infinite adventures waiting to begin.

Sometimes I feel that perhaps I love him more than he loves me; that I want this journey more than he does. I think perhaps it is natural to fear that you are more invested than your lover. But then I think of the times that he has cupped my face in his hands as he leans down to kiss me. The way that he will unconsciously reach for me whenever I am near. The forgiveness when I steal all of the bed and duvet. The spontaneous meetings so we can share a pot of tea and a few hours together. The sliding of fingertips over each other’s wrists to feel the pulsing of love in our veins. The late night texts and phone calls to say ‘I miss you’.

I think of the way he looks deep into my eyes, into my soul, when he tells me that he loves me.

He is my benediction.

I know that I have nothing to fear. Neither of us do. When we are together, the rest of the world can do its best to rip and tear at us but we are invincible. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be sorrows along this path, but the light that we create cleanses away the pain. We are stronger than superheroes and we are remembering who we were before the villains tried to bend our selves to their will. United, what others have exploited as weaknesses become our strengths. Our tenderness becomes our virtue. Our empathy becomes our armour. He is my mirror and my shield and I am his. We protect each other.

The fairytale was never a myth. The bliss does exist. The magic is real.

In his arms, the scales fall from my eyes and I realise that everything I ever wanted is right there.

With him lies Paradise.

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